the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
