I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
