dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
