you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
