I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
He passed out mid-signature
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Randomize
