Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Randomize
