First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
