This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Randomize
