If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
