I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Randomize
