You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
