Small penises have feelings too.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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