low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
