I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Randomize
