you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
