My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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