just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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