I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
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