sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Randomize