Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
I just found puke in my bra..
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
