Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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