i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Randomize
