Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Randomize
