Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
3pm strippers are depressing
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
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