six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
