Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Randomize
