My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
