Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize