He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
