Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
