So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
