I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
