I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
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