how do flat chested girls get laid?
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I have aggressive nipples.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Randomize
