I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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