apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
