Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
