(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
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