Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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