as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
