u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Randomize
