and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Randomize