Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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