I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
