dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
