I think scott just propositioned me for sex
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Randomize
