So drunk its hurt
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
Let's get the cat blown out
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Randomize
