Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize