Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
