The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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