I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
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