i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
