Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Randomize
