Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
