we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Randomize
