U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
We were destined to go to rehab together
Boobs are out for the taking
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
