I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
