I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
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