my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Randomize
