Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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