Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Alive.
So much puke
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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