Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
