Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
jump out the window naked night went bad
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