One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
You left your phone here
Wait...
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