and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
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