We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Randomize
