i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
That's how pantless uber rides happen
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