Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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