I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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