she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize
