I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Randomize
