hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
