maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Randomize
