I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
