And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Randomize
